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The Neon News

August 11, 2004

Hey Fanz!
Busy weekend coming up!
Saturday, August 14 
I'll be at the Red Skies Music Festival at Everdale Farm.  I'll be playing with the Carbuncles, also known as the Low-carb Uncle Band.
Gordon's Acoustic Living Room
Sunday, August 15
It's time once again for Gordon's Acoustic Living Room, our regular gig at the
Free Times Café, 320 College Street. 
We'll play from 8:00 p.m. until 11:00.
After Sunday, August 15, we'll be switching to the fourth Sunday of the month for the fall season, so we'll be playing September 26, October 24 and November 28.

Dragon Boat Races
August 28
I'll be playing with Patio Dave & the Lanterns in Port Dover at the dance and fish fry after the Dragon Boat Races.
This charitable event raises funds for Norfolk General Hospital.

The Wee Stinky Band
September 18
Twice a year, it's the Wee Stinky Band
at Rooster's Bar & Grill in Barrie, Ontario.
It's appalling, really.

Wayne Neon

P.S.  Speaking of appalling, here's some wacky jokes from my friend Nick.
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Red Skies Music Festival 3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high!"

15. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

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