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The Neon News

May 28, 2004

Hey Fanz!

Hauled my butt out of bed this morning at 5:30 so I could get down to the studios of MOJO Radio 640AM with my bari sax so I and Richard Underhill and fifteen other sax players could promote our attempt to get into the Guiness Book of World Records on Sunday by having 1000 sax players playing the theme to Hockey Night in Canada at the same time! We have 928 players signed up so far!

If you've ever played a sax, you're good enough for this gig! Long & McQuade are renting saxes half price for this day, and Steve's are renting them for free! The record attempt will happen at Dundas Square at 2;00 p.m. this Sunday, May 30. There will be a rehearsal tomorrow, Saturday, May 29 at Queen's Park at 2:00 p.m.

If you're coming out, you should register online at www.shuffledemons.com, but you can also register on site, starting at 11:30 a.m. on Sunday.

The Shuffle Demons


I'll be playing at the Ferret & Firkin, 720 Spadina Avenue, just south of Bloor, on Saturday, June 5, with the Axes of Evil and some other fine musicians.

Gordon's Acoustic Living Room returns to the Free Times Café on the usual third Sunday of the month, June 20. Don't know whether this will be a 7:30 start or 9:00 p.m., but get there early, because it's a small room, and this thing is starting to catch on. As Gustabo MacSporran sez, "I think we're on to something!"

Patio Dave & the Lanterns may be playing a big street dance in Simcoe on June 30 to celebrate the end of all the construction, but stand by for confirmation on that. We will definitely be playing for the Dragon Boat Races in Port Dover on August 28.


Did I mention there's an election on? I'll be punditing on Goldhawk Live on Rogers cable TV, (cable 10 & 63 in Toronto), on Monday, May 31 at 9:00 p.m. on behalf of Fair Vote Canada. It's a phone-in show on voter apathy. Call in, if you can be bothered.

Wayne Neon

The Story of Mouseland and the black and white cats (as told by Tommy Douglas, 1944)

Mouseland was a place where all the little mice lived and played, were born and died. And they lived much the same as you and I do.

They even had a Parliament. And every four years they had an election. Used to walk to the polls and cast their ballots. Some of them even got a ride to the polls. And got a ride for the next four years afterwards too. Just like you and me. And every time on election day all the little mice used to go to the ballot box and they used to elect a government. A government made up of big, fat, black cats.

Now if you think it strange that mice should elect a government made up of cats, you just look at the history of Canada for last 90 years and maybe you'll see that they weren't any stupider than we are.

Now I'm not saying anything against the cats. They were nice fellows. They conducted their government with dignity. They passed good laws - that is, laws that were good for cats. But the laws that were good for cats weren't very good for mice. One of the laws said that mouseholes had to be big enough so a cat could get his paw in. Another law said that mice could only travel at certain speeds so that a cat could get his breakfast without too much effort.

All the laws were good laws. For cats. But, oh, they were hard on the mice. And life was getting harder and harder. And when the mice couldn't put up with it any more, they decided something had to be done about it. So they went en masse to the polls. They voted the black cats out. They put in the white cats.

Now the white cats had put up a terrific campaign. They said: "All that Mouseland needs is more vision." They said: "The trouble with Mouseland is those round mouseholes we got. If you put us in we'll establish square mouseholes." And they did. And the square mouseholes were twice as big as the round mouseholes, and now the cat could get both his paws in. And life was tougher than ever.

And when they couldn't take that anymore, they voted the white cats out and put the black ones in again. Then they went back to the white cats. Then to the black cats. They even tried half black cats and half white cats. And they called that coalition. They even got one government made up of cats with spots on them: they were cats that tried to make a noise like a mouse but ate like a cat.

You see, my friends, the trouble wasn't with the colour of the cat. The trouble was that they were cats. And because they were cats, they naturally looked after cats instead of mice.

Presently there came along one little mouse who had an idea. My friends, watch out for the little fellow with an idea. And he said to the other mice, "Look fellows, why do we keep on electing a government made up of cats? Why don't we elect a government made up of mice?" "Oh," they said, "he's a Bolshevik. Lock him up!" So they put him in jail.

But I want to remind you: you can lock up a mouse or a man but you can't lock up an idea.

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