The Badgers


Hey, Badgers!

Whatza matter, Bippy, SARS got you down? You say you've just been through two wars in a row, and another's on the way? You say somebody dropped a bunker buster on your hockey team, and the Jays suck again? Your precision-guided retirement portfolio is worth $1.27 on today's market, your bank account looks like the Baghdad Museum, and the WHO has condemned your RRSP? You say your cousin is in Guantanamo and Mom's in the nursing home, and you're not sure which has the tighter security? That persistent dry cough is starting to worry you, and your love life is soggier than yesterday's freedom fries? Ice storms in April, Boopsie, is that what's making you feel blue?

Well, snap out of it! Don't let the morons and the bastards grind you down! None of it matters a tinker's fart, for soon the bats will crack and the gloves will smack and we'll all be winners again!

Badger baseball is back!

The Badger 2003 season will begin with an exhibition game at Greenwood Park on Wednesday, May 14 at 6:30 p.m.

The regular season will commence the following week. Once again, we will play every Wednesday. We are hoping to have the same fields as last year. Badgers home field will be Greenwood Park, at Dundas and Greenwood.

Don't know about fees yet, but they should be about $30 for the season, same as last year, or less.

The Toronto Arts League website is now located at

so bookmark this site and go there often for schedule information and game reports. Let's take some pictures this year, and get a Badger web page up and running!

Thanks to Daniel Smith for attending the Captains' Meeting on behalf of the Badgers!

Rule changes for this year:

Any kind of softball bat is allowed, including wooden bats.

If a runner leads off, the batter is penalized one swing and the ball is dead. On the 4th pitch, the batter is out. Leadoffs are called by the base coaches.

At Bowmore, balls hit onto the road (and fair) in right field, are considered home runs.

At Greenwood, when there are players on the soccer field in left field, balls hit in the air into that field are automatic outs. Balls hit on the ground into that field are considered ground rule doubles. If possible, the batting team should assign a non-batting player to stand on the edge of the soccer field in left field to try to prevent balls from entering that field.

Unless otherwise agreed upon, a team must play a minimum of 3 people of each gender on the field at all times. If a team does not have that number by 15 minutes after the starting time, the following options apply:
- if there is a difference of one player (e.g. 3 on one team and 2 on the other) then the team that is short will have an AUTOMATIC OUT in the last spot in the batting order and play one person in the field short.
- if there is a difference of two players(e.g. 3 on one team and 1 on the other) then the team that is short must default, unless agreed upon by the team captains.

Since I instigated the new tougher penalty for playing shorthanded, I will feel like a dolt the first time we play with only two women, so let's have a full turnout every game! In fact, let's try for a new record - a season where we don't default a game!

This would be a good place to remind you of:

The Badger Rule

If We Lose, and You're Not There, It's Your Fault.

as well as:

The Badger Motto

Semper Arribare!

which I insist means "Always Show Up!" in Latin, although we're not sure in which dialect.

What I'm trying to say, ladies, is that your presence is precious, and your absence breaks all our hearts.

This is starting to sound suspiciously like pleading, so perhaps I should add to the Badger Lore with:

The Badger Injunction

Don't Be Pathetic!

Instances were observed last season of pathetic behaviour on the part of several players, not excluding the present writer, so let's clean it up!

While I'm at it, I might as well remind you of:

The Badger Prohibition

Don't Get Hurt! (At least not before the playoffs.)

Well, this is all a little negative, so I will also remind you of:

The Badger Slogan

If your uniform's not dirty, you're not having enough fun!

I would be grateful if each of you would drop me a line and let me know whether or not you are intending to play this year.

I will close, as usual, with:

The Badger Hunch

I don't know, I just have this funny feeling that this could be the year we win it all!

See you on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 at 6:30 p.m. at Greenwood Park, double-gloved and double-gowned!

Semper arribare!

Wayne Smith

Daniel C., Donnie, Tammy, Lynne, Jon R., Connor, David, Sheila (seated with kids), Wayne, Chee, Verne, Daniel S.  Absent: Paul, Richard, Sue, Katie, Clayton, Marc, Ross

The Badgers